Since becoming a dad 2.5 years ago, one thing that has been a recurring theme in our house is that everything is about the choices you make.  Harper is now 2 years and 9 months old and he gets choices all the time: “Would you rather I take you to the potty? Or would you rather momma take you??”  With not going to the potty not being an option at all.  And that is good with kids because they need the direction and the boundaries, but with us as adults and as families….there are still choices, but the lines aren’t and shouldn’t be so black and white all the time.

I’m a failure!!

I really thought about this the other day when I had a patient (young mom) come back into the office for a follow up visit.  She had started herself (and her husband too partially) on a radical diet change that was meant to detox them both, but also to improve their health by changing the way they eat.  When I asked her how everything was going (mind you she’s only 1 week in) she says, “You’re going to be really mad, but I had some bread and blew the whole thing!!”  My response was, “I would never be mad that you didn’t follow something I advised you on.  It’s your choice all the time.”

I really thought about that and about times when moms come to me with their child who is having breathing problems and they confess and apologize about giving their child something not totally organic and “good” for them.  I surely hope I don’t put that kind of pressure on people.

Cindy and I try to do the very best we possibly can with Harper’s diet and with our own all the time until we either don’t have an option and then we try to make the best choice we can with the options we have.  But if we have to feed either Harper or ourselves something we normally would not, we don’t beat ourselves up about it and feel guilty.  Choices you make for your family’s health shouldn’t shackle you to a specific set of rules or leave you feeling so horribly guilty every time (and there will be plenty) you can’t follow your convictions perfectly.  There has to be grace in the choices for you as the parent knowing that you’re doing the best you can with your family as much as you can.  Christ does that for us.  When we step out of the bounds of his wishes and desires for us he doesn’t throw up his hands in desperation and yell “That’s it!! YOU MESSED UP!!”.  He gently guides us back and patiently waits on us to find him again.

I don’t know, not very monumental I think….but I was just thinking about it a lot over the week after I talked to that particular mom.  If your choices for your children are leaving you feeling super guilty and trapped all the time….then maybe you need to re-evaluate why you are making the choices you are in the first place.  I think it’s better to cheat every now and then and have what you want and be super happy about it than to deny yourself all day long and make yourself a guilty miserable mess.  It’s not worth it.

Dr. JB

Tags: children, choices, diet, family wellness, organic