Dear Harper,

It’s getting so close to the birth of your little brother/sister and it brings back so many memories of the day (full day I might add) that God blessed us with you.  I know people say that all the time about their kids “blessing” them or God bringing them a little “blessing”…..but you truly turned our worlds upside down the day you came into our lives.  We were comfortable before you.  Your mom and I had our practice going, she was training to be a midwife on top of everything, we had our friends and we thought we were pretty complete.  I was so naive about how much you would add to our lives that when someone told me to get ready for a big change I arrogantly told them:  ”Whatever!! Our baby’s just going to go wherever we go…we won’t really slow down, it will just have to keep up!”

I was so not prepared for what life was going to be like having you around every second of the day.  I remember how hard your mom worked to have you that night….18 hours of nothing but work, but she held in there and by the grace of God had you the next morning.  I’d never seen anything like that in my life.  Your mom was so brave and strong through the whole thing….and I didn’t sleep one second during the entire birth.

I stayed up 26 hours straight because I didn’t want to miss one second of the process of bringing you into this world.  Watching the birth videos over again lately with you has totally been a trip because it brings those same feelings back again.  The tension of the long pushing phase followed by the elation when we brought you out of the birth tub and your momma held you up and said, “It’s a boy!!”.  That single moment was probably the best of my life to this point and was the moment when my life was never going to be the same again…EVER.  The next 2 weeks at home with you two was a blur.  We had so many friends and family over I didn’t feel like we all really got a lot of family time.  My favorite time was when your mom needed to sleep so I would put you in my Moby Wrap and you and I would slow dance in the living room to Kari Jobe while you slept on my chest.  I never could understand why my heart just ached so much the entire time but I think it was because it was stretching so much!!

Remember when we took your first road trip to Lubbock to watch your Aunt Marcy graduate from Texas Tech?? We were so proud and impressed that you slept pretty much the entire drive up there and back.  We didn’t know that most babies would do that, we just assumed you were super awesome!! We bought you your first Red Raider onesie and dressed you up in it to see Marcy.  You were so dang little then!!  Then right after that we drove to Branson to hang out with your Papi and G.B.  You started cooing and talking so much during that trip and really started noticing everything around you.  I remember your momma and I left you with your grandparents to go see the Titanic museum and could hardly stand leaving you for that hour…lol.  First Christmas was fun with you too, I was just so incredibly proud of you we practically just showed you off the entire time.

We laugh now about how great a “hang out” baby you were.  We could go hang out with friends all the time and go to restaraunts or movies and you would just sleep through them all.  Little did we know it was because you would never sleep through the night for the first 15 months of your life! LOL….I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired as the nights you would scream for 3-4 hours at a time just because you didn’t want to go to sleep.  You loved the daytime and going with us everywhere, but hated the nighttime when it all had to stop.  It worked out well when your mom had a birth to go to because you would just sleep through it, but you didn’t nap so well either so she would be wiped out for a couple days afterwards.   You were always so good with whoever would hold you….just as long as someone had you.

People told us from the beginning what their favorite stages where with their babies.  Some liked the “army crawl” phase, and some liked the “crawling” phase….but really, they’ve all been so incredible I can’t really pick one out that I like better than the other.  I miss every stage you move out of even though I love the one you’re in right now!!  It has definitely been interesting raising you in our lifestyle too.  People freaked out all the time with all the weird stuff we were feeding you that you would just scarf down….like sea weed strips!! Grandma used to just get so upset that you were too hungry because all we were giving you for some meal was sea weed strips.  LOL.  That and she would get so annoyed at us that we never had any shoes on you.  So now every time that we get to see her we make sure that we put socks and shoes on you so that she doesn’t lecture us about it again.

Here we are though, 2 years later and I wouldn’t change a thing.  Now you’re like my little buddy on top of everything and just melt me every time I come home for lunch and you run to the door, give me a huge hug and then ask me, “Dada pay wit Hopper??”  You always want to play with your trucks and tractors right now and I love it!! Even the times when I need to get things done and you beg me to play with you I totally do because I know that there’s going to be a day when you’re so busy that we won’t get to do this and I’m going to miss these days.

I want you to know that I love you more than I could ever describe.  I literally count down the minutes all day long at work until I get to come home and see you again.  That’s one thing I’m so thankful for is getting to come home and eat lunch with you and your momma every single day.  That way I don’t have to wait all day long to see you guys. I’m so proud of you.  I tell you that a lot, but it’s so true.  I love it every time you come up to the office to hang out and just bust through one of the adjusting room doors….lol….people go on and on about how cute you are and about how well you talk.  You crack us up all day long with all the newest words you’re learning (whether you should or shouldn’t say them!!).  It amazes me at how fast you’re learning new things.  You’re stubborn, like your daddy, and passionate like your momma.  Both traits are going to serve you well in life, but will for sure give me a run for my money!

When the new baby comes it’s going to seem like we’re not spending nearly as much time with you….but you need to know that we still love you so so much.  You’re going to be an incredible big brother and I know you’ll be a lot of help.  We’ll still take you to do things and play with you, but we’ll have to play with the new baby some too.  I know you’re going to adapt to the new schedule just fine.   Thank you for being so sweet to your momma through the pregnancy.  You’re too funny talking to the baby all the time, “Hey baby!! How ya doin?? Nice to meet you baby!!” ….as you kiss and pat her tummy…LOL.  Know that your momma and I are praying for you every single day though.  We’re praying that God gives you peace and comfort and continues to grow your strengths and fill your weaknesses.  I’m praying that you will always take your fears to Him and that you lay you struggles and burdens at His feet.  God’s going to use you so much as you get older, I just can’t wait to see it.   God told me before you were born that you would be a warrior for the Kingdom, and I can already see that coming true!

I could write about you forever, but then no one would read it because it would be too long so I’ll stop, but I’ll write you again soon.

Thank you son.  Thank you for forever rocking my world and changing my life for the better.  And just think….the best is yet to come!!

Love you buddy,

Dad

Tags: baby, big brother, blessing, father, Harper, love, Texas Tech